A Job Offer I Never Expected

So I am convinced that there is a little magnet inside of me that attracts all of the craziest people. Friday afternoon I was talking to people near the Liberty Bell for the Theatre Alliance. I approached an older lady to ask her if she enjoyed theatre, which she loves musicals. I asked if she would like to sit on our Couch, and talk about what she loved about it, and she was unsure. What she was sure about was my "great personality." She then informed me that her company was hiring if I was interested. Out of curiosity I had to ask, "What do you do?" "Oh, I'm a sex phone operator."

I was honestly taken aback. Not only had I just been offered a job as a sex phone operator, but was this 60 year old lady really what was on the other end of those calls? And is this really a line of work that is lucrative? I mean with the internet, you can get all of this stuff for free, so why pay, like $1.99 a minute?

There was still a bunch of chatting with other people to do. And this lady, whose name I cannot remember, sat on a bench nearby the entire time. Whenever I had a lull in people, she would bring up her work again! She told me she makes good money, and it's easy. I had to know, "What are you making?" "$7.50" "An hour?" "Yeah, I clear about $1000 a month. You could do it."

Now, there is no way I can agree with either of her statements. $7.50 an hour is terrible and there is no way I could do that. Her response? "Honey, I'm 65 and I can do it. Whatever it takes to pay the bills."

Sometimes, the strangest people just want to talk to me and I'm not sure why.

An Evening with the Big Banana

At work, I write a weekly Openings and Closings email that is sent out to a couple hundred theatre goers. While the process is sometimes time consuming and tedious (damn formating), I really enjoy it and it gives me a chance to read over most of the theatre happenings in Philly. Since I took on this theatre challenge, I've been using it as a guide and reminder.

The other week, The Blue Monster caught my eye. Since it wasn't listed as a Family show, I thought, "Hmm, this might be amazingly outrageous." And so you know, I love puppets and masks. Names like The Blue Monster, tend to involve things like puppets, masks, and the supernatural. Obviously, I looked into this show. Here UARTS blurb on the show:

A mystical Blue Monster, a seven-headed Hydra and an evil Knight stand between two young lovers, Taer and Dardane, as they struggle to break an ancient curse. Written in 1764, this rarely performed Italian play, inspired by the characters of commedia dell’arte, blends masks, puppetry and physical comedy in an unforgettable tragicomic fable. Director Aaron Cromie is an award-winning member of the Brind School faculty known for his inventive modern take on the traditions of the commedia.

I knew this was a show to see. Now I only needed to find someone to go with me. Oddly, puppets or masks on their own are a hard sell for most people. So the combination together along with an old-school physical theatre style was near impossible. Lucky for me, I have Jake.

Jake and I have been friends for a yew years now, and one of my favorite things about him, is his love of the arts. Another thing is his enjoyment in the absurd pieces of life. Back in October, I told him I had a pair of roller skates for sale (I bought them for a show I worked on), and he jumped at the opportunity to buy them. Then, he came to my birthday party as a roller skating banana. Amazing!

We already had plans to hang out the day that The Blue Monster closed, I called him up to see if he would want to see a kinda odd mask and puppet piece with several monsters in it, and he said there would be nothing better than that. Afterwards, he had some regrets.

Overall, I enjoyed the show. The set was beautiful, the lighting interesting, and the costumes were good too. This production had an Asian/Chinese theme, which I am always a fan of. This was the first Commedia piece I've ever seen, and I'm not sure how I feel about it as a whole. Jake just couldn't get behind it. I think he enjoyed the technical elements, but is not a fan of Commedia dell'arte as a whole. Funny little side note, his ex was the costume designer, so he was rather judgmental. Definitely a great night.

Living an Urban Legend

Two weeks ago at Starbucks, I had the most random accident occur.  As I was throwing the trash into the dumpster, I felt a little prick on the palm of my hand.  When I looked at the bag to see what got me, I saw a hypodermic needle sticking out of the bag!  What!?!?  So I promptly finished taking out the trash, went back inside my store, and filled out an Incident Report Form.  Macha, who happens to be the best Shift Lead this side of Broad Street, she calmed me down and really helped out.  So I was alright, but really, who does this happen to?  I have never heard of a real person being pricked with a random needle.  My manager, Lissie, has worked for Starbucks for 10 years and she has never seen or heard of this!  Luckily Starbucks is paying for everything since I don't have insurance.  I've head 2 blood tests since then, and started takings Combivir, which has been screwing with my stomach pretty consistently since then.  

Because we don't know who the needle belonged to or what it was for, there was a threat of Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, and HIV.   Apparently, I was supposed to take the needle with me.  I can see how this would make sense, but I was mostly thinking about getting away from that needle.  Now you all know for future reference, and if I run into this situation again, I will be sure to grab it before I run.  They've done tests and I'm practically immune to Hepatitis B.  Which rocks man, becuase that was the biggest threat.  There is only a tiny chance HIV was still living on the needle (if it was ever) and Hepatitis C is very rare, so I'm pretty safe.  There is a chance though.  So I will be getting blood tests done for the next 6 months.  The bitch of it is, I hated needles before this random event.

What a life I lead...

Welcome To Life

Last week I had an epiphany.

I was laying in bed at about 7:30 am relaxing before I had to go to work. 

It suddenly hit me, that this is "real life" and I'm ok with that.  Not even ok, but happy.  

I'm not going back to school this year and I have better things to do anyway.

I never thought this day would come, and I can't get this little smile off my face.

Oh Me

So today I had terrible stomach pains and don't know why.  

So for a moment I thought "Maybe I have Appendicitis."

Then I remembered I'm an asshole.

This Crazy World

I often have people tell me I'm weird, which I usually don't disagree with, but I'm finding I meet people and see things that make me look rather normal.  

 

These 2 woman, while sober, decided to dress up as McKenzie's (the blonde) male room-mate Willy.  They are in his clothes, with his signature mustache and bandanna.  I'm not sure if the way he dresses or them doing such a fine interpretation of him is more ridiculous.  Either way, it was a good time and now when I look at these photos I wonder is that McKenzie or Willy looking back at me.

Here are just some of the stranger things I've seen in life.  Mostly in Italy.  Those people know how to be ridiculous.

Children's Literature Party

So I started this comic shortly after we had this party, which was on February 7th.  I just procrastinate that much.  These were some of the best costumes we've ever had.  Hopefully the next party will be even better.  I'm torn between a 1940's Sock Hop or A Swinging 60's Soiree.  What do you think?

Update!

It feels great to be out of school.  I've never felt more free, but I do have a constant concern for the future.  What can you do though?  

My Goddaughter Kaylie turned 1 last month and is the best baby ever.  She is so easy going and pleasant.  I'm trying to spend as much time with her (and her momma, Amy) as possible so she knows me.  The other day she said my name clearly!  I wasn't there, but I heard from a first hand source it was awesome.  

I've been taking life kinda easy right now before I get sucked into hustle and bustle of real life.  Spending a lot of time reading of hanging out with Brandon.  If anyone has a good book recommendation I'll take it.

My parents are pretty amazing and threw me the best graduation party ever.  It was 2 days, tons of food, 2 kegs, lots of great people, and even a bonfire!  What more could I want?  I learned to play Civil War, which is far superior to Beer Pong any day.  The most ludicrous thing that happened was my Mom went around mooning a bunch of my friends!  Its been confirmed that she mooned on at least 3 occasions, but no one really knows the exact count.  Either way, a very memorable party.

That's it for now.  Ciao!

My Best Skill

So I have learned that my best skill, in the entire world, is the art of procrastination.  My lack of posts in several months is a testament to this skill.  It does me no good, but I continue to master it.  I have a comic from a few months ago I need to finish and then I'll put it up.  Promise!

Instead of leaving you with that totally boring and unnecessary bit above as my return to blogging, I will tell you my latest misadventure in life...

About 2 weeks ago I was walking home from the train station, as I'm prone to do as a pedestrian, when some young guy ran up and tried to snatch my purse!  Now, if you know me, you know I am two things, poor and bad ass.  Combine those with a direct attack on my persons, and you have yourself quite a story.  

When this guy tried to yank my bag and yelled, "Give it to me" I responded with a frightened, yet heartfelt "No!"  He then proceeded to punch me in the head and push me to the ground.  No worries though, he punched like a girl.  As I hit the ground though, I regained my abilities of action.  I tried to kick him in the nuts, a move I find unacceptable except in cases like these, but missed kicking his thigh instead.  So I tried to kick him in the knee this time, all the while he is punching me, then I pepper sprayed his dumb ass!  He fell into a bush and I ran home.  

I eventually called the police and spent a good chunk of time crying from shock and fear.  But every cop I talked to that night (and I talked to like seven) said the same thing to me, "It must have felt good to spray him."  

They are correct.

Six Weeks Later

So it has been six weeks since I left Italy and I still haven't written anything, so I figured it's about time I did.  I've attempted several times, but just couldn't think of what to say.  Allora, I will write a list because that's what I do best.  

I was sad to go and happy to be leaving.

I didn't improve my Italian skills enough.

Baby-sitting Tori was one of my favorite things about being there.  

Fiats are awesome.

I need to move out of America for an extended period of time.

I prefer life without a microwave.

I never want to go four months with out theatre again.

Brandon is an even better boyfriend then I thought, and I already had a high opinion of him.

Hazelnut and Pistachio are my favorite gelati.

Nothing depressed me more than life without my cat.

Apparently, the two movies I can't live without are The Big Lebowski and The AristoCats.

I never cooked better food than when I was in Italy.

I'm so much more antisocial then I like to pretend.

Drunk Sunday was one of the highlights of time abroad.

The only thing better then The Fresh Prince theme song is the Italian version.  

I love kebabs and falafels, even if I can't spell them.

I am like 2 steps away from being a cat lady.

Now that I've done this I can start posting new things.  It just didn't feel right before.

Just Not Enough Sex, Drugs, or Rock and Roll

I spent the weekend in Amsterdam...

 

This is the second time I've been there, and I really like the city.  It's a ton of fun and offers lots of sights to see.  Sadly this trip was not as fun as the last one, but I was with Brandon, my boyfriend and we stayed in a four star hotel.  So as any person can imagine, staying in an 18 person co-ed hostel is a bit of a step down, but I did not care...until I realized I was the only female in the packed room.  Needless to say, I was paranoid out of my mind that some man would try to crawl in bed with me!  I was tempted into asking Peter, my travel buddy to sleep in my bed to protect.  No worries though, I slept safely alone.

 As I have said, I traveled to Amsterdam with my friend Peter.  And let me just tell everyone never to go Amsterdam with someone of the opposite sex unless you are dating or they are gay.  Because I have never felt more awkward than I did walking through the red light district.  Don't be misled here, I thought the whole thing was funny and a little sad (because I can't imagine what would make anyone do that as a profession) but I was enjoying it for what it was.  Peter on the other hand was clearly so uncomfortable with me being there he hardly glanced at any of the woman!  Not that I was staring, but that was part of the fun I thought.  There are just too many things that he would have enjoyed so much more if I was a man.  

I would also like to let the world know, I can know spell appendicitis perfectly and without thought.  Why?  Because Peter was convinced he was dying of it the entire weekend.  He actually wanted to go to the hospital Saturday night, but I was having no part of that sort of shenanigans man.  Instead, I made him just go to bed and deal with it.  After returning to Florence, whining for a day, and a trip to the hospital, he is fine.  Just a hypochondriac.  And sad to say, after separating myself from the entire experience and no longer trying to make the best of it, it was probably one of the worst trips I've taken.  I did go to the Van Gough museum, chill out, take a break from life, and have some really cool conversations though.  And all of these were awesome and just what I needed.  I just hope if I ever go back to Amsterdam, it is with my parents and siblings, because that would be a really fucking good time.

Oh Venice

So it took me way to long to post this, but what can you do?  

My Love Came to Italy!

Oh Italian School!!

Allora, I am breaking my tradition of only comics to put up this post, but it is very necessary.  In the last ten weeks of school in bella Italia, I have noticed several funny fashion trends in the fashion school I attend.  

     Firstly, there are a group of Swedish girls that go to school with me, but three of them stick out in particular.  Two have this really unique and awesome high fashion punk look going for them.  Like pencil skirts with funky button ups and chokers with heavy eye make up.  The one has a really neat face, as odd as that sounds, strawberry blonde hair with circular eyes, chubby cheeks, and her septum pierced.  She also has a sweet tattoo on her forearm of like, a flower explosion.  I really want to take a picture of these two, but I have enough against me being an unfashionable American, I don't want to add crazy to the list.  But then there is the third Swede, and she looks like stepped straight out of the 80's.  High waisted "mom pants" as Niki as dubbed them (baggy in the ass that taper to a tight ankle) are a staple of hers.  A common outfit is one I like to call "First Matey."  She will pair her "mom pants" with blue keds, and a white tee shirt, tucked in with a funny looking belt.  The real gem of this outfit is the tee shirt has printed upon it the tie thing of a sailor's outfit, with the illusion of another shirt beneath it.  Here is the closest image I could find of it.  Imagine blue with stripes on the "undershirt." 

She honestly wears this outfit once a week.

      Next I would like to mention one of the other North Americans, named Chantal.  Yes Chantal.  She is from Mexico, but you would never guess is unless she is speaking.  She has that "I really want to look white" image about her.  Which I can never understand being as I am white, and a pasty white at that.  She has bleach blonde hair and an expression that just screams "squirrel."  Here is my interpretation...

I have never seen her without heels or a touch of gold in her ensemble.  For the first eight weeks I don't think she repeated an outfit.  Which is both impressive and disgusting.  Her color palette consists of white, gold, and brown, with an occasional shirt that looks like a rainbow vomited on her.  She also owns a gold headband that she wears often.  But not a headband to keep the hair out of her eyes, no no, it is a "gold crown of thorns, like Jesus wore" as Niki just told me.  Ridiculous.

      I will finish the post with the girl who I think puts the most work into her hair of anyone at my school, which trust me, is quite a competition.  I do not know where she is from sadly, but if I find out I will let you know.  This woman seriously comes to school everyday with her hair teased up about 6 inches above her scalp, with it just pulled back.  Clearly the height is the main focus.  How she isn't bald, I will never know.  She also has a self imposed uniform.  She wears either blue or black sheer stockings, ankle boots, and a long sleeved loose fitting dress, with either blue or black thin stripes with thick white stripes.  How she has suck a variety of these dresses, I will also never know, but I am nonetheless impressed with the consistency.

     Well that about wraps it up man.  I will spend the next week attempting stealth photography to capture these women in their prime until then, use your imagination...

Last Birthday Post

Sorry it took so long, blogger was fighting me, but I think we're ok now.

Jazz Club

But wait! There's more!

The start of 22

Stay Tuned for more Birthday Fun from your favorite cartoon...

An Almost forgotten Post

After Dinner Party

Fancy Dinner Party